In the February issue of Triathlete Magazine, Jesse Thomas wrote about the most awesome, totally imaginary tri products he wished were real. He crowdsourced ideas from his fans on social media, so the collective tri geekiness came up with some great stuff — like a business casual tri suit (for seamless transition from training to work); or a laser helmet attachment that tells you if you are in the draft zone (red) or out (green). And my favorite:
“An automatic spouse-appeaser option when you sign up for a race: You click the box and on race day she gets flowers and a babysitter.”
(Or for the husbands: a case of fancy local brew to drink with the bros. Cheers to that.)
As a runner and triathlete, I often find myself daydreaming of things that would be so cool to have – if only they were real. (Because no triathlete is ever in possession of enough gadgets, you know?) So if I may, here are a few of my humble additions to Jesse’s master list.
First, as a runner, I wish for:
1. The one magic shoe.
I wish there existed only one single brand and type of running shoe in the whole world. It would magically mold itself to our feet and become the optimal shoe for our weight and gait, thus enabling each runner to run efficiently and injury free, in perpetuity. The best part? You could get your shoes 100% personalized with your favorite colors, patterns and inspirational quotes.
2. The app or device that syncs with my belly.
I wish there was an app or Garmin-like device that connects to my stomach via bluetooth and tracks all calories I take in, along with macro and micro-nutrients. It would then sync with Strava, RunKeeper or any other fitness app, to match those against the calories I burn in training — and alert me whenever I’m off my ideal nutrient intake for optimal training and race performance. As a bonus, it would make dinners suggestions based on my daily data, complete with easy recipes and one-click ordering and delivery options for all ingredients (or meals).
3. A self-cleaning, odor-free porta potty.
4. Self-cleaning, odor-free running clothes?
Or any kind of clothes, for that matter… but who are we kidding. Running clothes are the only clothes we have these days.
Now, as a triathlete, I’d like to add a few more things to the list:
5. The one magic saddle.
That molds to every cyclist or triathlete’s butt, for maximum comfort without compromising aerodynamics. So we don’t ever have to worry about reapplying chamois butter, ever again.
6. A 1.2-mile long swimming pool.
To enable the perfect time trial for your 70.3 or 140.6.
8. A bike with self-pumping tires.
Because I always forget before a long ride!
8. A self-cleaning house.
The trick is this. It only cleans itself while I train and the area cleaned is commensurate with time and quality of training. The smarter you train, the cleaner your house when you get home. Bonus: extra-special self-cleaning service happens during races, but is independent of race performance – because no matter where you placed, you gave it your best!
–> What are some imaginary products on your wish list?
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